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feat(commands): add a fun command category with 18 public rs commands
Adds a `fun` category to the operator command registry, reachable identically from site chat and Discord: - text: bonk, hug, slap, 8ball, roll, coin, ship, rate, uwu, wanted - counters: bonkboard, pet, snitch - hardware: honk, boo, spin, disco, vibecheck Supporting pieces: - `permission: 'public'` in the registry. The dispatcher previously decided non-admin access with a hardcoded chain of `action !== '...'` comparisons, so every new public command needed a dispatcher edit. That chain is replaced by a registry lookup plus SELF_GATED_ACTIONS, which names the commands that enforce their own permissions internally (goal/reason are read-public write-admin; verify/deter reject non-lockdown-admins themselves). Existing behavior for every pre-existing command is unchanged. - `cooldowns.js`, a per-actor per-command in-memory gate. Site chat's own rate limit is per-socket-per-message and does not bound a specific command, so without this one person could turn `rs honk` into a siren. Site chat rebuilds its router per message, so the gate is created at module scope there and injected. - `funStatsService`, a small JSON store for the persistent tallies. Counters are keyed by an actor key spanning transports (`user:<id>` / `discord:<id>`), and a Discord id has no row in `users`, so `user_feature_state` could not hold them without violating its foreign key. Safety notes: - `issueCommand` is the raw rover transport and performs none of the ownership, deterrence, or private-safety checks the socket `command` handler applies, so honk and spin re-check `canDrive` themselves and spin re-applies `applyPrivateDriveSafety`. Both are therefore site-chat only: a Discord message has no socket and can never satisfy those checks. - `boo` speaks a canned taunt rather than caller-supplied text, so it cannot become an unmoderated TTS channel aimed at whoever is nearest a rover. - `disco` obeys the existing room-light lock and the homeAssistant feature gate. - The whole fun category is suspended in lockdown mode. - Mute and deterrence already stop command-shaped chat before the router runs. Co-Authored-By: Claude Opus 5 (1M context) <noreply@anthropic.com>
This commit is contained in:
Saul5662
co-authored by
Claude Opus 5
Claude Opus 5
parent
d000b8f4f8
commit
a2fbbc100e
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// Operator Fun Text Commands
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// Purpose: Implements the social, text-only `rs` commands (bonk, hug, slap, 8ball, roll, coin, ship, rate, uwu, wanted).
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// Scope: Text and counters only; nothing here touches rover hardware.
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const { getCommandConfig } = require('../../operatorCommandService/config');
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const { describeWait } = require('../cooldowns');
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const {
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PLAIN_MENTIONS,
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actorLabel,
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buildActorKey,
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clampEcho,
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hashSeed,
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ordinal,
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pairSeed,
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percentFromSeed,
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pickBySeed,
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resolveFunTarget,
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} = require('./funHelpers');
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const TEXT_COOLDOWN_MS = 4 * 1000;
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const SLAP_ITEMS = [
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'a large trout', 'a rolled-up service manual', 'a dead AA battery', 'a docking station',
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'a suspiciously warm power brick', 'half a roll of duct tape', 'a decommissioned brush guard',
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'a bag of loose screws', 'an unlabelled USB cable', 'a soggy floor sensor',
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'the heaviest available wrench', 'a stack of unread pull requests',
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];
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const EIGHT_BALL_ANSWERS = [
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'Yes.', 'No.', 'Absolutely.', 'Absolutely not.', 'Ask again once the battery is charged.',
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'Signs point to the docking station.', 'The overseer says no.', 'Almost certainly.',
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'Not while anyone is watching.', 'Outlook cloudy, sensors dirty.', 'Try it and find out.',
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'That is a maintenance window problem.', 'Only on a Tuesday.', 'The rover has already decided.',
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];
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const HUG_FLAVOURS = [
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'gently', 'aggressively', 'with both brush guards', 'at full wheel speed',
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'for slightly too long', 'while beeping softly', 'without asking first',
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];
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const WANTED_CRIMES = [
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'reckless docking', 'driving with the brush on indoors', 'excessive honking',
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'unauthorised carpet donuts', 'battery hoarding', 'ignoring the global objective',
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'parking in the doorway', 'nine consecutive turn skips', 'talking to the Neato',
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'strobing the room lights for fun', 'stealing another rover\'s charger',
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];
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const RATE_SUFFIXES = [
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'No further questions.', 'I stand by this.', 'Do not appeal.', 'Take it or leave it.',
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'The sensors agree.', 'This rating is final.',
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];
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/*
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A dice roll is one of the few places a fun command should be genuinely random:
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the whole point is that nobody can predict it. Everything that passes judgement
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on a thing (`ship`, `rate`, `8ball`, `wanted`) is seeded from the input instead,
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so re-running it cannot reroll a verdict somebody disliked.
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*/
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function rollDice(count, sides) {
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let total = 0;
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const rolls = [];
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for (let index = 0; index < count; index += 1) {
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const value = 1 + Math.floor(Math.random() * sides);
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rolls.push(value);
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total += value;
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}
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return { rolls, total };
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}
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function parseDiceSpec(spec) {
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const text = String(spec || '').trim().toLowerCase() || '1d6';
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const match = /^(\d*)d(\d+)$/.exec(text);
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if (!match) {
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// A bare number is read as a single die with that many sides so `rs roll 20`
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// does the obvious thing instead of erroring.
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const bare = /^(\d+)$/.exec(text);
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if (!bare) return { error: 'Roll format is `NdN`, for example `2d6`.' };
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const sides = Number(bare[1]);
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if (sides < 2 || sides > 1000) return { error: 'Dice need between 2 and 1000 sides.' };
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return { count: 1, sides };
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}
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const count = match[1] === '' ? 1 : Number(match[1]);
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const sides = Number(match[2]);
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if (count < 1 || count > 20) return { error: 'Roll between 1 and 20 dice.' };
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if (sides < 2 || sides > 1000) return { error: 'Dice need between 2 and 1000 sides.' };
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return { count, sides };
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}
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function uwuify(text) {
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return String(text || '')
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.replace(/[rl]/g, 'w')
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.replace(/[RL]/g, 'W')
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.replace(/n([aeiou])/g, 'ny$1')
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.replace(/N([aeiou])/g, 'Ny$1')
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.replace(/ove/g, 'uv')
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.replace(/!+/g, ' !!');
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}
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function createFunTextCommands({ io, getNickname, sanitizeMentions, funStatsService, cooldowns, config }) {
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const { prefix: commandPrefix } = getCommandConfig(config);
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const safe = (text) => (sanitizeMentions ? sanitizeMentions(text) : String(text || ''));
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function reply(message, content) {
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return message.reply({ content: safe(content), allowedMentions: PLAIN_MENTIONS });
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}
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/*
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Every fun command runs through one gate so the cooldown, the actor identity,
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and the "who am I talking about" resolution cannot drift apart between
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commands. `needsTarget` commands reply with their own usage line when the
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selector is missing rather than silently acting on nothing.
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*/
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function gate(message, action, { windowMs = TEXT_COOLDOWN_MS } = {}) {
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const actorKey = buildActorKey(message);
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if (!actorKey) return { error: 'Could not identify you well enough to do that.' };
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const wait = cooldowns.consume(`${action}:${actorKey}`, windowMs);
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if (wait > 0) return { error: `Slow down — try \`${commandPrefix} ${action}\` again in ${describeWait(wait)}.` };
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return { actorKey, label: actorLabel(message) };
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}
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function target(selector) {
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return resolveFunTarget({ io, getNickname, selector });
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}
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/*
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Shared shape for the three "do a thing to someone" commands. Only the verb,
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the counter names, and the flavour text differ, and keeping them in one place
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means a fix to self-targeting or tally credit applies to all of them.
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*/
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function createInteraction({ action, counterGiven, counterTaken, selfReply, render }) {
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return async function handleInteraction(message, tokens = []) {
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const selector = tokens.join(' ').trim();
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if (!selector) {
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return reply(message, `Usage: \`${commandPrefix} ${action} <user>\``);
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}
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const gated = gate(message, action);
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if (gated.error) return reply(message, gated.error);
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const resolved = target(selector);
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if (!resolved) return reply(message, `Usage: \`${commandPrefix} ${action} <user>\``);
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if (resolved.actorKey && resolved.actorKey === gated.actorKey) {
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return reply(message, selfReply(gated.label));
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}
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funStatsService.bumpActorStats(gated.actorKey, { label: gated.label, [counterGiven]: 1 });
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const targetStats = resolved.actorKey
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? funStatsService.bumpActorStats(resolved.actorKey, { label: resolved.label, [counterTaken]: 1 })
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: null;
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return reply(message, render({
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actor: gated.label,
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actorKey: gated.actorKey,
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targetLabel: resolved.label,
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targetOnline: resolved.online,
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takenCount: targetStats ? targetStats[counterTaken] : null,
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}));
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};
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}
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const handleBonk = createInteraction({
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action: 'bonk',
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counterGiven: 'bonksGiven',
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counterTaken: 'bonksTaken',
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selfReply: (label) => `${label} bonked themselves. That is between you and the rover.`,
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render: ({ targetLabel, takenCount }) => {
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const tally = takenCount ? ` That is their ${ordinal(takenCount)} bonk.` : '';
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return `🔨 Bonked ${targetLabel}.${tally}`;
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},
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});
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const handleHug = createInteraction({
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action: 'hug',
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counterGiven: 'hugsGiven',
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counterTaken: 'hugsTaken',
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selfReply: (label) => `${label} hugged themselves. Genuinely fine. No notes.`,
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render: ({ actor, targetLabel, takenCount }) => {
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const flavour = pickBySeed(HUG_FLAVOURS, hashSeed(`${actor}:${targetLabel}:${takenCount || 0}`));
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const tally = takenCount ? ` (${takenCount} total)` : '';
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return `🫂 ${actor} hugs ${targetLabel} ${flavour}.${tally}`;
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},
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});
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const handleSlap = createInteraction({
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action: 'slap',
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counterGiven: 'slapsGiven',
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counterTaken: 'slapsTaken',
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selfReply: (label) => `${label} slapped themselves with a large trout. Bold.`,
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render: ({ actor, targetLabel, takenCount }) => {
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// Seeding on the running count means the weapon changes every time without
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// being unpredictable for the same repeat number.
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const item = pickBySeed(SLAP_ITEMS, hashSeed(`${actor}:${targetLabel}:${takenCount || 0}`));
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return `🐟 ${actor} slaps ${targetLabel} around a bit with ${item}.`;
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},
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});
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async function handleEightBall(message, tokens = []) {
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const question = clampEcho(tokens.join(' '));
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if (!question) return reply(message, `Usage: \`${commandPrefix} 8ball <question>\``);
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const gated = gate(message, '8ball');
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if (gated.error) return reply(message, gated.error);
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const answer = pickBySeed(EIGHT_BALL_ANSWERS, hashSeed(question));
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return reply(message, `🎱 ${question}\n${answer}`);
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}
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async function handleRoll(message, tokens = []) {
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const gated = gate(message, 'roll');
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if (gated.error) return reply(message, gated.error);
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const spec = parseDiceSpec(tokens.join(''));
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if (spec.error) return reply(message, spec.error);
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const { rolls, total } = rollDice(spec.count, spec.sides);
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const detail = rolls.length > 1 ? ` (${rolls.join(' + ')})` : '';
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return reply(message, `🎲 ${gated.label} rolled ${spec.count}d${spec.sides}: **${total}**${detail}`);
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}
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async function handleCoin(message) {
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const gated = gate(message, 'coin');
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if (gated.error) return reply(message, gated.error);
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const side = Math.random() < 0.5 ? 'Heads' : 'Tails';
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return reply(message, `🪙 ${side}.`);
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}
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async function handleShip(message, tokens = []) {
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const parts = tokens.join(' ').split(/\s+(?:and|\+|&)\s+|\s*,\s*/i).map((part) => clampEcho(part)).filter(Boolean);
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const [left, right] = parts.length >= 2 ? parts : [parts[0], null];
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if (!left || !right) {
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return reply(message, `Usage: \`${commandPrefix} ship <a> and <b>\``);
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}
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const gated = gate(message, 'ship');
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if (gated.error) return reply(message, gated.error);
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const score = percentFromSeed(pairSeed(left, right));
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const verdict = score >= 90 ? 'Get them a shared charging dock.'
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: score >= 65 ? 'Promising.'
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: score >= 35 ? 'Needs work.'
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: score >= 10 ? 'The sensors are not hopeful.'
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: 'Absolutely not.';
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return reply(message, `💞 ${left} + ${right} = **${score}%**. ${verdict}`);
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}
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async function handleRate(message, tokens = []) {
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const thing = clampEcho(tokens.join(' '));
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if (!thing) return reply(message, `Usage: \`${commandPrefix} rate <thing>\``);
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const gated = gate(message, 'rate');
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if (gated.error) return reply(message, gated.error);
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const seed = hashSeed(thing);
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const score = seed % 11;
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const suffix = pickBySeed(RATE_SUFFIXES, seed);
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return reply(message, `📊 I rate ${thing} **${score}/10**. ${suffix}`);
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}
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async function handleUwu(message, tokens = []) {
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const text = clampEcho(tokens.join(' '));
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if (!text) return reply(message, `Usage: \`${commandPrefix} uwu <text>\``);
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const gated = gate(message, 'uwu');
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if (gated.error) return reply(message, gated.error);
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return reply(message, uwuify(text));
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}
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async function handleWanted(message, tokens = []) {
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const selector = tokens.join(' ').trim();
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if (!selector) return reply(message, `Usage: \`${commandPrefix} wanted <user>\``);
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const gated = gate(message, 'wanted');
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if (gated.error) return reply(message, gated.error);
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const resolved = target(selector);
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if (!resolved) return reply(message, `Usage: \`${commandPrefix} wanted <user>\``);
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const seed = hashSeed(resolved.label);
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const crime = pickBySeed(WANTED_CRIMES, seed);
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// Bounty is seeded so a given name always carries the same price. Somebody
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// being permanently worth 12 credits is funnier than a fresh number each time.
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const bounty = 25 + (seed % 4776);
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const stats = resolved.actorKey ? funStatsService.getActorStats(resolved.actorKey) : null;
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const priors = stats && stats.bonksTaken ? `\nPrior bonks on record: ${stats.bonksTaken}.` : '';
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return reply(message, [
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'```',
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' WANTED',
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` ${resolved.label}`,
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` for ${crime}`,
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` reward: ${bounty} credits`,
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'```',
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].join('\n') + priors);
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}
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return {
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bonk: handleBonk,
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hug: handleHug,
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slap: handleSlap,
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'8ball': handleEightBall,
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roll: handleRoll,
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coin: handleCoin,
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ship: handleShip,
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rate: handleRate,
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uwu: handleUwu,
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wanted: handleWanted,
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};
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}
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module.exports = {
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createFunTextCommands,
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// Exported for tests: the parsing and transform rules are the parts most
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// likely to regress, and they are pure.
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parseDiceSpec,
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uwuify,
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};
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